


coffee eyes and sea salt tears

by emberchii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Insecurities, M/M, Self-Pity, i'm pretty much just cleaning out my quip folders and posting works that i've written, sad tooru, this is just an excuse to write tbh, whooP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emberchii/pseuds/emberchii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oikawa was able to fool everyone. He always had been able to. With a well-practiced smile and a wink, everyone believed that he was okay. Hell, sometimes he managed to make himself believe that he was okay. In public, all he needed was a smile and some sort of cocky remark, and for a while everything was okay. "</p>
<p>aka: Celia's excuse to write sad kisses and mild cuddling</p>
            </blockquote>





	coffee eyes and sea salt tears

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write sad iwaois. this fic has no purpose other than my desire to torture my son and his husband.
> 
> this thing is so frickin short

Oikawa was able to fool everyone. He always had been able to. With a well-practiced smile and a wink, everyone believed that he was okay. Hell, sometimes he managed to make himself believe that he was okay. In public, all he needed was a smile and some sort of cocky remark, and for a while everything was okay.   
  
Behind closed doors, everything hurt. Everything. His knee screamed and his skin ached with bruises and the tendons in his limbs hurt from stress and overworking. Tooru sat on the floor, his back against his bed and his head tilted back. His legs were stretched out in front of him and his hands rested somewhere in the middle, fingers curling into the carpet.   
  
His eyes fluttered open and he realized that the room had grown dark around him. How long had he been sitting here—two hours? Three? He didn't know. Peeking through long, full lashes, Tooru allowed himself to peer up at his ceiling. There were stick on, glow in the dark stars arranged in as many constellations as he could remember. His ceiling was a map of stars, put together with his insecurities and doubt.   
  
He tilted his head, eyes sliding from the ceiling and down the wall, coming to rest on his bedside table. His phone was blinking, showing signs of missed messages. He sighed quietly, eyes brows furrowing and eyelids sliding shut. He didn't want to deal with people, he didn't want to see anyone in this state.   
  
He was the captain, the setter, the pillar, the support of the team. But that support was full of cracks, the foundation was poorly laid and split in half when the weather turned cold. Tooru felt weathered down, his soul and his mind worn down by stress and fear. Even Hajime, who had been his pillar and his support for years, had yet to see him like this.   
  
Tooru was an ugly crier. But crying helped—he was able to sob out his stress and his pain and his sorrow, he could cry until it wasn't worth it anymore. And then he was okay. But now... He felt numb. Everything felt numb, discoloured and grey.   
  
The light on his phone kept blinking, messages coming in one after the other without his notice. His phone was on silent anyways.   
  
More time passed, and all Tooru did was sit there and wallow in his self pity. He could feel his self hatred growing, a furious monster unfurling in his brain that whispered insecurities and deceit.   
  
There was a click as the door opened, but Tooru just kept his position. He assumed it was his mother, coming to give him food.   
  
“Oi, Shittykawa.”   
  
Oh.   
  
There was another click as the door closed, and Tooru heard the subtle shift of a lock being turned. He opened his eyes and rolled his head, gaze fixating on Hajime in the darkness. The wing spiker was illuminated by the faint moonlight that shone through his window, dark eyes glinting.   
  
Hajime sat down across from Tooru without a word, sitting crosslegged between Tooru's legs and leaning his chin in his hand. He didn't say anything, just watched to see if Tooru would say anything.   
  
Hot tears stung at the back of Tooru's eyes and he swallowed the cold lump in his throat. There was a breath of hair, a puff that signalled the beginning of what could be a sob.   
  
“Hey,” Hajime reached forward, movements that Tooru could almost make out through his blurred vision, and warm fingers cupped his cheek. That simple action spurred Tooru on and he reached forward, grabbing onto Hajime—his shirt, his arm, anything that he could reach—and the ace pulled him into his lap, cradling him and holding him. Tooru curled into himself, curled into Hajime's hands on his back and grabbed tightly onto Hajime's shirt before burying his face in the other's shirt. He let out the wailing noise of a dying animal before his body was wracked with sobs.   
  
Hajime gently cupped Tooru's face, pulling him away and pressing their lips together, holding him tightly and allowing his fingers to curl into the soft wisps. Tooru could taste his tears against Hajime's lips and he pressed forward desperately, craving Hajime because he was a comforting, loving presence. Hajime's kisses strayed, and he kissed away the tears, kissed his cheeks and his eyelids and his lips, all while his fingers curled into his hair.   
  
Slowly, Tooru's tears subsided and he went limp against Hajime, hiding his face in the other's collarbone and holding onto his shirt while he took in breaths to completely calm himself down. And Hajime was a support, holding him until he was calm and even after, holding him up and telling him that he was okay, brushing away his insecurities with lips against his temple and fingers that slotted perfectly with his own. Tooru felt asleep in Hajime's arms, their limbs tangled together and breath rushing across each other's skin.


End file.
